Certainly there are such people in the church, but there are such people in any organization, and I would challenge you to remember that the members are also individuals with thoughts, feelings and the ability to rebel in their own ways.
Find out what your partner thinks of as non-negotiable.
I can second this, as a lifelong utahn this is why I simply have a "no mormons" policy for dating.
If so, you have a chance. I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are.
Do what feels right. God told me to marry my husband.